Awhile

i think the feeling I get from not hearing a word in a month and the feeling i get when i had my heartbroken are almost the same. it's one thing to get over a broken heart, a totally different thing to get over losing your best friend.

i'm not over it.

it's gonna be a while before i am.

i know it's stupid and naive, but part of me is hoping that he'll come back.

i have everyone telling me to move on and you can do so much better and all the stuff they are supposed to tell you, but I still love him. and it sucks that after almost two months he can still make me cry.

and i want so badly for him to miss me. to know that he thinks of me. just anything to know that i meant something to him. that the last year wasn't a waste.

someone said to me that is was good that i got a clean break. i'd rather have him talking to me.

i hate the fact that i can't let it go.

i hate the fact that i think about him all the fucking time.