So last night I broke down for the first time in a long time. I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep and all i could think of was my mom. It's been a while since I cried about it. I like not to think about it. I guess in my own way I hoping that if I don't acknowledge it, it won't be real. I just can't picture what life is going to be with out her. I am very thankful for all the time that I have and will spend with her, but it's not enough. And honestly I don't know what I am going to do when that day comes.
I've arranged for some family portraits to be taken in October. I can't wait. It's with my favorite photographer. I want lots of shots of everyone. Just a fun day. Of course I want some special ones with mom. I'm looking forward to it.
I'm also looking forward to next weekend. It's my mom's 55th birthday and we're having a big party for her at my Nana & Gramps. Lots of friends and family. On her actual birthday a bunch of us are going for drinks and appy's at the Buffalo Club in Maple Ridge. So that will be fun. Have to remember to take my camera.
As for the rest of life....i quote *I'm fine. I mean, I'm not over it, but little by little it's getting easier to pretend it's easier, which means easier might be right around the corner.*
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