Memories

i'm sitting here listening to my ipod cause for some reason my speakers are not working....I'm ok with it...rather have my computer then my speakers...plus I'm sure by tomorrow they will be working again.

i have too many memories. i wish there was something like a usb stick that you could put into your brain and take out all the memories. cause sometimes it's just too much to handle.

and it's weird to think that it's only been ten weeks. feel like much more time has passed. i almost sent a msg to him the other night. and not one that i really want to send. i was able to cancel it before it got out. if and when i do send him one all it will say is that i miss him.

i get through each day ok. i go to work and laugh with the children and put on my happy self. and there are times when i am truly happy. but a lot of the time i feel like.....i guess not me. and it's weird cause i was me before him. i had five years to get to know me and I liked me. then it was kris and brandi. and it was great. but now i have to go back to just being me again and i can't remember how to do that.

and i know everyone is sick of me being like this and i try to stop myself. i do. but my heart won't listen. and then my brain goes on it's own accord.

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Nobody understands how much I miss you; I miss how much we used to talk, and miss all the things we used to do. I try not to admit it to myself that I still feel this way. Nobody knows that I still wake up thinking of you each day. I still care for you so much. And I really do miss you. I would give up everything I have to be everything we`re not.

I know i should have let you go ages ago,
but something is always bringing me back
to you. maybe fate is just trying to tell me
that we really are meant to be together.

I wonder how many people never get the one they want but end up with the one they’re supposed to have.